birthdays, snoring & the wrong moon

birthday candle

It’s Pokey’s Birthday!

Not MY birthday, but the birth-day of this here blog, and that notorious character I’ve come to love,  who’s me and not me, which of course is total narcissism, but hey, it’s MOTHERS DAY, so cut me some slack, willya?

Yes, a year ago I made my first post, and here I still am, 32 posts later. The game plan has shifted a bit, but the basic purpose remains the same: to tell my story, aloud, to a few folks who are listening, and hope that what I have to say somehow speaks to them (to you, dear reader), and if in speaking it helps make motherhood a bit less of a Byzantine knot for somebody, at least temporarily, then Pokey’s doing her job.

An unexpected but totally value-added bonus in writing Pokey Mama has been those of you who stop by, comment, and lead me to your own work. I love hearing from and about you. Thank you.

As most of you know, I don’t post every day, and sometimes can’t even post once a week, which goes against the whole blog zeitgeist of filling up your in-box with reminders of my very important existence,  but it’s what works for me, and not at all coincidentally,  it’s what I can manage as a Mother AND…

Today, for example, I had every intention of writing a long, introspective piece on Mother’s Day and my mother and how that’s shaped me as a mother, etc., but it didn’t quite work out that way. I had a lovely morning  that began with breakfast prepared by my husband and delivered to me on the screen porch by my children, but said repast and respite was followed shortly after with a variety of obligations and fun stuff and now it’s 5:00 and some of us are grumpy and even though I snuck up to my room with permission to disappear I was followed by a certain individual who is now snoring beside me, exhausted, no doubt by the meal he prepared 8 hours ago. It’s a mite distracting.

Happy Mother’s Day!

However, if we mothers are good at anything (and we are very good at a great many things) it is rolling with the tide. Mother moon is setting her example, showing us how to go with the ebb and flow, a little flotsam, a lot of jetsam, heavy weather and patches of flat-out boredom, we wax and wane.

I know—that’s Sailor Moon, not Mother Moon, which is exactly my point! If I’ve learned anything in my now (almost) 13 years as a mother, it’s that sometimes it’s best to let go of expectations. Thus, the 10 minutes I have left to finish this post.

OK, Pokey is really not so calm about the situation. She whines much more than accepts, but today being her birthday she feels rather…mature. Also, Pokey is tired, which helps enormously with the acceptance thing.

Another time I’ll write the post that was in my head for today. Chances are it will be nothing like what I thought it would be. In the mean time, I will settle for this few minutes of quiet (except for the snoring) with you, and two VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS:

1) The winners of the Big Poetry Giveaway are…Rebecca Reid and Beth Girshman!!!

Rebecca will receive a copy of my first book, How I Got Lost So Close to Home, and Beth gets a copy of the new anthology, Morning Song: Poems for New Parents. Yay Rebecca and Beth, and thanks to all who entered my very sophisticated contest.

2) In honor of Mother’s Day, Mother Woman has put together a beautiful video “This House is Strong,”with an original song by the Nields (Pokey interviewed Katryna here a while back). You can see/listen to the video here.

Hope somebody’s making you happy today.

8 thoughts on “birthdays, snoring & the wrong moon

  1. Thank you, Pokey. You continue to put down the words that make me think and reflect and smile. And giggle a bit, too. There were a few people who made me happy yesterday. And one of them was you.

  2. somehow you always get to me- maybe the parting shot- “Hope somebody’s making you happy…” That’s when the sensation of slight overwhelm hit me. So important to remember it never looks like we expect it will- My 12 year old boy told me to stay in bed and he would make me breakfast-As he said “Stay in bed and then come down and I will have everything ready- like you usually do” Aww. But It was beautiful and I wanted to be in the garden, and there were not enough eggs and he was not sure about pancakes and then MY mother called to say she had broken down(like really broken down- her whole wheel fell off) on her way to our house- so I got to save her- and we DID have pancakes that my 12 year old made- but I still have not gotten my peas in the ground- Thank you, Amy, for inspiring me.

  3. What? I may already be a winner? I actually am a winner…wow this made me even happier than i was already..thanks pokey!
    (and amy, too, of course)..

  4. Do you know the famous saying: “Expectations are resentments under construction.” ? I feel that you are reminding us that one of the benefits of this crazy thing called motherhood is defying that saying. I know that the point is to stop expecting. But the other option is to expect and then try to accept whatever version of real life happens to disrupt the expectation.

    I am so glad you wrote this post despite the change in plan. Reminded me to feel happy about the Mothers’ day I had which was quite far from what I expected.

    Still, I look forward to your memories of your Mom and all that…

    1. I don’t know that saying but I LOVE it! But I like what you say even more: “to expect and then accept whatever version of real life happens…”. Perfect, O wise one.

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